Let Love Lead The Way

Disclaimer: I own none of these characters. They belong to Bright, Kauffman and Crane, and my use of them is purely for entertainment. I also don’t own ‘Let Love Lead The Way’, by Melanie Brown, Emma Bunton, Victoria Beckham and Melanie Chisholm – otherwise known as the Spice Girls.

What makes this world go round?

Will the answer let her down?

I can’t believe she’s finally leaving. I don’t want her to expect too much of this harsh world. I want her to know that her expectations won’t be unfounded. I don’t want her to get hurt. She’s still my baby.

She is so sweet and young,

And her life has just begun.

I mean, she’s only twenty years old. I was still living with my parents when I was her age. She’s still my baby, the child I held in my arms for the first time twenty years ago. My only daughter, my precious baby, I love her.

What does the future hold?

That’s a story left unknown…

I want to know what happens to my baby. I want to know that she’ll live a long happy life, meet and marry a wonderful guy, have all the babies she’s wanted. All the things I ever wanted. The things I had, up until six months ago. First my son left home, now I’m losing my daughter too.

Will she make it through the day?

Let our love lead the way…

I’ve loved her since I first felt her little kicks in my uterus. Since then, she was my little girl. My mother was always critical of me, and I know I was critical of my own daughter, I never realised it until she was nineteen and my husband told me off. He said it seemed as though I favoured our son, but I never meant to. I suppose my mother was a deep influence on me, even on the things I didn’t want her to be.

Part of me laughs

Part of me cries

Part of me wants to question why…

I don’t even know how I feel. My daughter is leaving home, and I don’t even cry about it. What kind of a mother could I be, a mother who doesn’t cry when her youngest child leaves home?

Why is there joy?

Why is there pain?

Why is there sunshine and the rain?

Why does she have to leave? Why will my precious daughter have to feel pain? I can only hope and pray for her, and that’s not going to do any good at all. She’s a happy girl normally, but she isn’t immune to sadness and hurt. I just want her to feel the happiness that I have done – the happiness I found in my husband, the happiness I found in my baby son and daughter.

One day you’re here,

Next day you’re gone

It seems like yesterday when I was arriving home from the hospital, holding a tiny baby in one hand and a small boy in the other. My husband held open the door, and we introduced her to her new home. I didn’t sleep at all that night. I just stood by her crib, watching her. When she cried, my heart broke. I couldn’t believe that there was a chance my baby would be hurt, in pain or sad. I felt guilty if I did anything to make her cry.

No matter what, we must go on

Just keep the faith and

Let love lead the way

She always loved her father more than me. He valued her opinions, and seemed like the good guy to her. I was closer to my son, and that made her jealous. She took to overeating at one point in her life, and I knew how bad that was, so I encouraged her to diet. She seemed to think that I only loved her if she was thin. It was a misunderstanding that never cleared up.

Sitting there all alone

In the window of her room

Watching the world go by

Brings tears to her eyes

When she was very small, we discovered that she wasn’t very outgoing. She never had many friends, only one girl, and she was the daughter of one of my best childhood friends. That upset me. I had not had many friends as a child, and I wanted her to be different. I wanted my daughter to be different, but she never was. She and her brother are close, and she is friendly with some of his friends, and his wife.

All she sees is hurt and pain

And she wants to break the chain

She’ll keep pressing every day

And she’ll find her own sweet way

I know that I can’t make her do anything she doesn’t want to. I’ve known that ever since I tried to get her to wear a pair of new shoes when she was three. She was a very stubborn child, and that hasn’t changed. I can’t tell her not to leave. I can’t do anything. My husband and I knew we would have to let our children go one day. We weren’t prepared for that day to come so soon.

You can be all that

And still can be who you are

This isn’t make believe

I’ve only wanted to encourage her to make the best of herself. My mother did the same to me, and I turned out fine. I never thought I’d be turning into my mother, but everyone tells me I have. Only they say I’m slightly nicer. I hope my own daughter becomes nicer, and her daughters nicer still. That way, my mother will be fazed out. My son will never produce a child like my mother. He’s too wonderful already.

You may feel weak,

But you are strong

Don’t you give up, girl!

I should be the one telling her it will all be okay. But I’m not. It’s my husband. I know it’s my own fault. I loved my daughter more than my son, but I didn’t show it. I just let her think I didn’t care. I should never have done that. I knew what it was like. I should have noticed what I was doing.

If you keep holding on

You’ll never be wrong

Just close your eyes

Cos it lies deep in your heart…

I turn to her, and try to say something. I try to say anything, anything to apologise for my behaviour over the last twenty years, to say I love her. I can’t. I hug her, and she walks away. She gets in the cab, and the tears begin to fall. My husband wraps an arm around me. He sighs.

Everything will work out fine

If you let love…

He turns to me. “She’ll be fine. It’ll be okay, Monica.”

Love lead the way

A/N: I hope you liked it – and the twist at the end! My fics have been slower than normal lately, cos I’ve had so much homework, sorry!